Vranovice Harvath: Also, it's not just baby monitors that present this strangulation danger.

I will get along with your friends, buy and bring you beers, make and bring you food, watch you play video games for hours with not a single complaint, give back massages, have sex with you whenever you want. I'm a firm believer in bros before hoes. I am prochoice. I know how to party. I won't complain when you fart in front of me. I won't fart in front of you. I won't go through your phone when you are in the bathroom. I will laugh at all your jokes. I am open to 3 sums with other girls. I'll listen to that noise you call music and pretend I don't think it's terrible. I will always look and smell good for you. I don't care if you have worn the same cloths for a week but I wouldn't mind doing your laundry so you don't have to. I won't ask for much in return. What's the catch? There is no catch. I just want a real man. A man who deserves a woman like me. Though I am shallow and could only be this woman for few. Please don't reply if you aren't taller than me 5'7.5, if you aren't 2128, if you have no pictures. Might as well send me a link to your facebook. Thanks XOXO

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